mes petites erreurs et petites prières

MY LITTLE MISTAKES AND MY LITTLE PRAYERS

Sometimes i wonder why i did this or why i did that, i screw up things often. This is not all, what follows is the cascading effect everything goes wrong and then i pray to god to make things well. But is it justified?? i guess yes, cuz i realize that way i become a better human being, the guilty feeling makes one gud; what follows is a series of promises that i make to myself. Recently i a fight with a good friend, he thought i was being chauvinistic or arrogant. I analysed and thought that may be it was not my fault but his mood. Same night a sms came that read:

never get angry on ur frenz,
cuz till the last monent what u remember is
not the words of ur enemies
but the silence of ur friends.

And i realized that may be i was at fault. Next day he started talking to me casually, and forwarded the sms to him, but these little things show u how beautiful life is. We often think its somebody else`s fault. We don`t try to mend up the things. I still remember he was amongst the first guys in college who became my friends in the first year in college. It was these guys who actually gave the warmth i was searching for when i came here from my home.
Anyways things are good now. I often think i dont have the heart for things in life or i don`t know how to express my feelings or i`m even doubtful if i have feelings for others. Sometimes i realize that may be i`m like a parasite who expects help from others but doesn`t help them. I don`t know.I only do things that i like(read as computers and reading).i expect people to like these.I hate sports, but i love watching them. May be this is because i don`t have the heart to play these games. Or, the real reason, i don`t try hard;may be this is the thing i never try hard at things i don`t like. When i encounter something new, i always have a opinion about it. This doesn`t let me explore things. I always want to enjoy these things what others do.I want to be like everybody else around me,may be master of things. But i can`t.I do enjoy things like comuter games, coding, hardware and stuff.I realize that when u really "try" to enjoy a thing you can`t. But may be you should indulge in everything around you. You`ll automatically pick things you like, and ones you dislike. Keeping one eye on the goal doesn`t let u see the objects with both eyes!! And about the feelings..i guess one gets that if he tries hard..really hard..nothing is easy..probably, if u get it easily, u dont feel it..thats why have the exposure...all good and bad..that way u`ll cherish each and every moent of life..after all life is very beautiful...