My College-My love!!

National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur

Its my final semester in the college, still i feel the same tension when the exams begin as i used to get in the first year, the same joy when the exams are over. Tears fill my eye when i think about leaving it in another 3 months. I still remember the day i entered this college, this dust bowl-the place known as jamshedpur. I wanted to return home-back to mumbai, but stayed back on my dad`s insistence. After all this is supposed to be National Institute of Technology, or NIT as we know, but nothing looked like of national importance, neither could i get the feeling of being in a technical institute. It took us really long time to reach the college, not too much distance..about 12 kms..but the sights during the back breaking journey made my determination to go back strong. The first sight-herd of cows grazing in front of administrative building. Next the rickety hostels which i was sure would fall if i touch them..and the best part..the mess food..if anyone would have offered it to the dogs, they would have prefered to stay hungry.

But things do change, and the change was too much to digest..a beautiful digital library, gardens and manicured lawns, fountains everywhere, and after i saw hostels of other nits as well as iit kgp i was more then satisfied, our hostels were much better. What next - WiFi next month.

But to me, my college is much more-i met people from all over india, made best friends here, organised parties, had treats and helluva fun.The relationships i made, i wish them to last forever.

I remember my disastrous first year, laid back second year, hard working third year, and i`m enjoying to the fullest the fourth and final year. I got much more than i asked for. Relaxing and chilling out here, i feel that god makes good decisions for us!! The hostel life taught me too much about life-some good, some bad..but as they say-life is not always a bed of roses. Last week, I went out to a few companies for sponsorship for our cultural fest..Enjoyed it..Was a bit skeptical about what they`ll say..would i stammer..but it was a cake walk..Hopefully life remains cool as this always..i love living this way..life is nice..On june 1st, i start a new life..my corporate life..with dreams in my eye, i jet set for the sky..

qui suis-je ?

WHO AM I ?

Sometimes i wonder, who am i. Everybody around me has a distinct personality. Somebody is good at singing, someone is at computers, so are people at football, cricket, quizzing, creative writing, etcetra. I donno where i wanna head. Actually i want to be like everyone else around me, master of all. I have been trying that for a long time, but failing miserably. I donno, may be graduating to jack of all trades but masters is a far cry. But yes, now i`ve tried most of the things, i don`t fear them, neither do i fell i won`t be able to do them. I`ve reached a stage from where if i want to go ahead, it has to be by practice and experience. I say this about the things i`ve laid my hands upon. But in wild open blue, there are millions of things i haven`t heard of, forget about trying.

But hold on, that takes me to the basic question..why should one fear the unknown? Lot depends on our attitude how we see the things and how we deal with them. A week back i started playing a new game, had a new hair style, a new beard cut. I was kinda scared about few things. These were how`d people respond, what wud they think. But as i got it, they liked some, they hated some changes, and i changed the ones they hated. I learnt the game wasn`t much difficult, but with proper rules, even a robot could have played, depends on accuracy and practice. The other thing i learnt was change is essential in the life, lest the life becomes dull to live. With this in mind i set forth for my next journey, indulging in something new, till i find the right boat to put my foot in.

mes petites erreurs et petites prières

MY LITTLE MISTAKES AND MY LITTLE PRAYERS

Sometimes i wonder why i did this or why i did that, i screw up things often. This is not all, what follows is the cascading effect everything goes wrong and then i pray to god to make things well. But is it justified?? i guess yes, cuz i realize that way i become a better human being, the guilty feeling makes one gud; what follows is a series of promises that i make to myself. Recently i a fight with a good friend, he thought i was being chauvinistic or arrogant. I analysed and thought that may be it was not my fault but his mood. Same night a sms came that read:

never get angry on ur frenz,
cuz till the last monent what u remember is
not the words of ur enemies
but the silence of ur friends.

And i realized that may be i was at fault. Next day he started talking to me casually, and forwarded the sms to him, but these little things show u how beautiful life is. We often think its somebody else`s fault. We don`t try to mend up the things. I still remember he was amongst the first guys in college who became my friends in the first year in college. It was these guys who actually gave the warmth i was searching for when i came here from my home.
Anyways things are good now. I often think i dont have the heart for things in life or i don`t know how to express my feelings or i`m even doubtful if i have feelings for others. Sometimes i realize that may be i`m like a parasite who expects help from others but doesn`t help them. I don`t know.I only do things that i like(read as computers and reading).i expect people to like these.I hate sports, but i love watching them. May be this is because i don`t have the heart to play these games. Or, the real reason, i don`t try hard;may be this is the thing i never try hard at things i don`t like. When i encounter something new, i always have a opinion about it. This doesn`t let me explore things. I always want to enjoy these things what others do.I want to be like everybody else around me,may be master of things. But i can`t.I do enjoy things like comuter games, coding, hardware and stuff.I realize that when u really "try" to enjoy a thing you can`t. But may be you should indulge in everything around you. You`ll automatically pick things you like, and ones you dislike. Keeping one eye on the goal doesn`t let u see the objects with both eyes!! And about the feelings..i guess one gets that if he tries hard..really hard..nothing is easy..probably, if u get it easily, u dont feel it..thats why have the exposure...all good and bad..that way u`ll cherish each and every moent of life..after all life is very beautiful...